But first we must dream.

Last night I watched A Day in the Life of a Hobbit from the Extended FotR. The comradery that those actors experienced is something quite alot of us long for--to work on a project as huge,as grand as Lord of the Rings, to share a fictional as well as a real life journey through Tolkien's story.

I know that I dream of being able to make something of myself, to become famous and have spectacular adventures. Whether or not this is attainable sometimes doesn't even cross my mind. Somehow, someway I will make myself known to the world and share in a journey of my own--or so my dreams tell me.

When reality snaps his jaws he turns out to only be gumming me. I know how to make contacts with agencies, I know what's required to "make it" in Hollywood. In fact it would probably be easier to try to make it in the movie business rather than art. So I have to think. Do I want to go on and be an artist, scrounging for a book to illustrate, living at home with a day job at a nick-nack store? Or should I try to lose 70 lbs. find out about film-making, acting etc. and get an agent? Am I going to be following Emily around my whole life being her personal assistant and stage manager? Who knows! Somehow I'll show them all. Whoever "they all" are, they'll be shown my backside, my front side and my talents.

So I dream and I dream big, but I can live what I dream.